Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
