**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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