you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
