very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
