You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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