Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
