Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
