At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
