I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
