What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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