i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
