And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
