; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
