I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
