what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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