You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize