it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
