i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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