dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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