You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
