I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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