I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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