our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize