Do you still have your period?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
