I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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