that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize