glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
