Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
