Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
