I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
