I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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