he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
