Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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