I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
