What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
birth control should be required to get into college
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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