remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We need a shit load of segways right now
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
