hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
