Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
