third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
