The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
