I like to think it a success when the cops are called
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
