once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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