too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
