I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
