please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize