Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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