Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize