Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
