You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
