Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
