Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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