I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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