Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
