no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
