And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
