; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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