can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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