I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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