2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
