Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
