Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
