I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize