Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
