i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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