I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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