bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he wants to bone in the snuggie
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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