you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
